Today

Today,

When I closed my eyes with no reason at all,

When I suddenly became silent when nobody called,

Today,

When I felt a longing for loneliness,

When I wanted to curse the whole worldliness,

Today,

When I felt myself incomplete,

When I said I need more greed,

Today,

When I told myself I need to be stronger,

When I prayed for more endurance to escape wither,

Today,

When I didn’t like my face in the mirror,

When I refused to comb my hair clear,

Today,

When I spoke with efforts,

When I pretended to listen but didn’t even hear,

Today,

When I wanted to know the reason of my life,

When I looked at my empty hands with surprise,

Today,

When I saw a watch strike 12 aloud,

When I looked up and found a dark cloud,

Today,

When I felt my forehead frowned,

When I perspired in rain to make sweat and water bond,

Today,

When I called myself a fool,

When I couldn’t smile at my past but felt something else drooled,

Today,

When I didn’t know why I wanted to cry,

When I asked myself a reason why,

Today,

When I desired a tear in my eyes,

When I tried and pleaded but couldn’t cry,

Today,

When a desire became a pain,

When there was no lesson gained,

Today,

Today I understood a mood swing is all about a musing,

Today I realized how naïve I would be sacrificing my happiness to a swing,

Today,

Today I pondered if I must acknowledge defeats and repent my wrongdoings,

Today I knew I was wrong, I was weak, I had lost, and I didn’t want anything to win.

Today,

All this was just a mood swing!