Why did I write this???

Restlessness – Hopelessness

With tears in my eyes, I sit down to force out a few emotions and put them on the screen glowing right in front of me. Some vague songs flow in my mind but I can’t stop myself from thinking what I shouldn’t. With only one hope that I don’t break into tears, I keep typing and ask my weeping conscience to give out a few words that may sooth me. I try harder and harder but I don’t know, I guess even I want me not to push saliva into my throat to massage the hard pinch I feel in there. Even as I think that I can very well handle this type of feeling, I will not stop having my eyes filled with tears crying for someone to be by my side. This feeling just arises from nowhere suddenly and takes away all they joy I was having by allowing myself to forget about it. Just until a few hours back I was in one of my happy states and I couldn’t even think that this very next moment would get smile off my face. But suddenly my heart starts to beat faster and it’s different now. Nobody has said anything or done anything.